The fear-based teaching?


Teachers, students and everybody elses: listen humbly, integrate new or old information into different contexts and You can be sure that you can read in peoples eyes that they/you learn, progress very quickly, and they/you will not fail on putting into practice each information received.
 It is obvious that WE (I mean saxophone teachers, students etc) are all very motivated, passionate and involved by listening, but neverless, even for the most daring and shy person – you need to seek in music the ways where you DO NOT put yourselves forward. It is a beautiful lesson of humbleness and an additional motivation to deliver through music personal ideas, sharpness and subtleness.
But I must admit that lived in this way being a teacher or a student, it’s the music that comes out winner as well as your personality becomes greater.

MENTAL NOISE is the same element what blocks listening and playing. Merge with the beauty of nature, merge with the beauty of listening – then you become UPLIFTED, EXPANDED about knowledge/information you thought you would not have yet. This is called EXPERIENCE. Revelations like when we discover NOW the different music ideas combined together in one composer’s piece, YOU can be sure of one thing, IT WAS THERE BEFORE, but you did not listen it in opened conciousness. These insights were caused by YOUR immersion in the music.

How to tune Yourself to the music?

Is it a technical piece or slow piece, higher or lower grade of music? Or what kind of associations have you created in you mind? When you tune yourself to the different kind of music, your spiritual mind does not worry about the grades!!! Spiritual music (often slow movements) aim is to create and maintain the resonance of vibrations in your body, the aim is to create in a person “higher planes” and thereby cultivate that sense which raises vibrations untill upliftment of the soul! we usually speak about: “Your playing really touched me”, “the way you interpreted the piece overwhelmed me” etc…I hope it sounds familiar to you! People (player or audience) often TRY TO LISTEN in the concerts or competitions, but the trueth is, when You LET YOURSELF LISTENED – you have attained to peoples heart. So no matter, fast or slow movement, spiritually we have the same purpose in final process of learning – Do We Let Yourself Listen? Fearbased listening is trying to play with others while being preoccupied with yourself

Connection with true self

When I was playing in a group, I listened and responded through musical phrases, but I often found that I looked for meaningful/not empty/full of emotions etc phrases. Finally it continued and I was more and more not satisfied, I asked myself, what did I lost? I lost myself and let EGO to have more space. So how to find a solution, where I lost myself? Where I should be looking? I found myself enslaved by “satisfying needs” (those outside), that fear became predominant and I lost oneness. I was flashed by EGO illusion.

So my first step:

I was stucked in MY line of music and I stopped in a moment of solo, I STOPPED LISTENING OTHERS! Next process: I decided to have less and less space in my mind for the judge I called EGO! Judgements, estimations, expectations, reclamations, do people like my playing…etc. Sounds familiar?Judge created estimations and solos had no direction, because there were so much FEAR! Expectations exist therewhere is fear!

To refind and re-establish my true self, I started again from the patient practice process. Creation comes from inside, I trust myself in playing where is now fear and judgement. Practice started to have a new “look” – patience, because I had no burning desire to reach the goal (meaningful phrases, full of emotions)…all that finally stopped the inner improvisation flow – wanted to be liked by outside world! Again I repeated the phrase to myself, the beauty and creation comes from inside. I celebrated the saxophone playing, learning new ways of phrasing, learning new ways of enjoying and I did experience a NEW ENTIRE range of emotions that were not asked by Judge EGO.

Whatever improvisation/information came out, I was greatful, I was not attached to the result. So I discovered I liked my ideas again. Paradoxically, purpose and great result desire actions caused detachment.

But finally after some months: It all started to affect positively playing written music also, fearless expression where one note moves to the other without seeking any “rules/traditions”. The entire process of learning written music became a joyful game. WHY? I focused (on the fast or slow) on movement from note to note, I observed myself without attending result for anybody else. It is an illusion, I let myself listenend by myself, inner self.

In teaching saxophone and contemporary chamber music I started to notice changes the way I expected things should be done!!! I had less expectations from pupils/students, they started to be more free but at the same time more ENGAGED in music than ever before!

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